As expatriate life draws to a close and the final phase in the expat cycle is about to begin, it’s common to struggle with mixed feelings. Some expats dread the return to a “normal” life, while others are relieved their itinerant days will soon be behind them. Both groups are at risk for reverse culture shock: the disorienting feeling of being a foreigner in one’s homeland. Its effects may be lessened through preparation while still in the host country, and by following several practical strategies on arrival.
The first several weeks back can feel like a typical home leave, especially if the family is not yet able to settle into a residence of their own: the days may pass in a whirlwind of visiting, shopping, and fighting jetlag. Once this period of frantic activity passes, however, the reality of re-entry begins to sink in. It’s at this stage that the repatriate may start to notice differences between the idealized “home” of memory, and the home culture as it actually exists.
The lull before the household goods shipment arrives is the perfect time to begin the process of relearning the home culture. While in this state of limbo – before the establishment of a permanent home makes the repatriation seem “official” – it’s also a good idea to revisit the psychological strategies for re-entry the expatriate formulated before leaving the host country.
Creating a Home Causes Repatriates to Feel More Settled
Once the residence is ready for occupation and the shipment has arrived, the hard work of creating a home can begin. Feathering the family nest is the first step in making everyone feel settled in the home culture. It signals that the family is starting to put down roots – a major change from the sometimes nomadic existence of many expatriate families.
Setting up a new home is an overwhelming job that can drag on for weeks or longer. According to Graebel International, however, faster is definitely better. In a 2005 Study of How to Help International Transferees Relocate, the international removals company reported that completing certain tasks increased the rate of satisfaction among repatriates.
Those who unpacked and exhibited photos early in the international relocation process, for example, “felt more settled, settled more quickly, and felt less stressed. Displaying photos seems to be an important component of feeling settled (along with the rather nuts and bolts tasks of unpacking boxes and arranging the furniture and kitchen.)” Having visitors and engaging in hobbies soon after moving were also related to positive outcomes.
How to Reintegrate Into the Home Culture
In addition to setting up the family home, here are some other strategies for settling in:
- Don’t rush. Stay-at-home moms who are considering returning to the workforce should allow some time – at least a month or two – before jumping into a job search. Depending on the length of their career hiatus, they may require retraining, career counselling, or job search support. These services are often provided as part of the repatriating organization’s relocation assistance policy.
- Keep well. The stress of re-entry can take a toll on the family’s wellbeing. Maintaining healthy habits – eating properly, getting adequate sleep, exercising regularly – are especially critical at this time.
- Help the little ones. Children need guidance throughout their reintegration journey. Establishing routines early in the process is particularly important for young children. School-aged children face their own challenges; it’s helpful if parents alert teachers and school administrators to the child’s expat history. A brief discussion about the issues surrounding third culture kids (TCKs) will ensure everyone involved has realistic expectations.
- Get engaged. Becoming involved in the community accelerates the feeling of belonging, and each family member is encouraged to choose a leisure activity or hobby that connects them to the home culture in some way. Many returnees get so caught up in the logistics of settling in that they forget to make time for fun.
Maintaining Ties With the Former Host Culture
Reintegrating into the home culture and actively honouring the memory of the former host culture(s) are not mutually exclusive. No one expects the repatriating family to suddenly forget about their life abroad. On the contrary, embracing their overseas experiences will add richness to their life in the homeland, and is easily accomplished:
- Get connected. Eating food, watching movies, celebrating festivals, and above all, socializing with people from the host culture keeps it relevant for the repatriating family.
- Keep learning. Continuing to study the local language, or engaging in another activity that reflects the former host culture, will keep that association alive.
- Don’t forget to write. Making the effort to stay in touch with friends and co-workers back in the host country strengthens those relationships and reinforces happy memories of expatriate life.
Rediscovering the home culture – and one’s place in it – is not as effortless as may be expected. These settling-in tips will make the transition a little easier, and smooth the way toward a successful adjustment to a new life back home.
Readers who are interested in expat life may also enjoy Expat Spouses Need Overseas Relocation Planning Help from HR and Celebrating Easter After an Overseas Move.
Maria Foley - Former expat spouse Maria Foley understands how overwhelming living abroad can be, having spent seven years outside her home country of ...
